WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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