My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize