I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
