I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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