she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
