This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i now understand why vodka
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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