Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
