I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
