i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
