Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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