Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
