Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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