Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
