You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
