Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
