Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
