Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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