I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
