You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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