she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
