I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
