why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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