uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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