The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
