Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
