Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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