I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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