I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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