She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
