While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
