i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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