Don't you send me to vm
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
