well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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