fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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