So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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