Swine flu. Run for my life!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
