there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
