You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
