I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
