at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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