I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I could make wine with my vomit
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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