I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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