sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
