Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
