youre lurking in front of me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
