I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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