so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
