So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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