I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
