he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's shark week go big or go home
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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