oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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