The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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