my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
