The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
