we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
