He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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