Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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