did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
