I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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